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Demystifying Guys by Brynn Paulin

Men love them. Women are often are unsure about them. Blow jobs, or properly called fellatio, which comes from the Latin meaning to suck. Many women have no confidence in their skills in this area. It’s not something they teach you in school, so how do you proceed? Well, ladies, here’s the no-nonsense guide you’ve been waiting for. Well, maybe there will be a little nonsense…and fun.

Okay, hands up. Who thought a blow job involved blowing when they first heard the term? I sure did. Yeah, I found out quickly that the phrase was a misnomer. Let’s not go there. Let’s look instead at why men love oral sex.

Why do they love it?

Why wouldn’t they? Let’s just say, I couldn’t find a man out there who didn’t love blow jobs. I’d like to clarify that I was not offering demonstrations or services. Just surveying. Women can get kinda squidgy about their guy going down on them, so why is it that almost every guy breathing thinks oral sex—on them—is the greatest thing since the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition? Actually, most think it’s better.

There are several reasons. According to Pleasing Your Man by Eve Salinger the reasons stem beyond physical gratification. To a man’s way of thinking, it shows that the woman performing oral sex wants to give him pleasure. They want to centre their attention on him. And he finds it incredibly sexy to watch a woman taking him in her mouth. This doesn’t surprise me. Plenty of women I know, find it incredibly sexy to take their partner into their mouths. Often fellatio makes a man feel powerful and worshipped. With many men, if it’s done as foreplay it makes them rock hard. Well…nothing wrong with that. Finally, if the act culminates in an orgasm, it will be out of this world.

Partners…Take Your Positions!

While it’s possible to give fellatio in any position, I wouldn’t recommend it. This is important. There’s nothing like a kink in the neck to ruin the moment for both of you. You’ll have to stop because you’re in pain and he will be incomplete without you. Sorry, I couldn’t resist that. But it’s true. A bad position can completely stop the moment. Remember to relax. Have fun. This isn’t rocket science and no one’s grading you. At least they shouldn’t be…I digress.

One tried and true position is to put a pillow under your partner’s behind while you kneel or sit between his legs. This raises him so much closer to heaven—I mean, your mouth. Have your way with him. This position also places your mouth in the perfect position for maximum stimulation. And you can look up at him adoringly while assessing his pleasure. You’ll find this is the most
comfortable position of them all.

Have you tried this one? He stands while you kneel level with his cock. Remember that whole feeling of being worshipped he likes? This will surely do it for him. Part your knees and you’ll might find the position pulls your parts in a nicely sensual way as well…but this is all about him right.

Of course there’s the ever popular sixty-nine position. Some people don’t like this one… it’s distracting, they complain. Well, yeah, I guess. Truthfully, this position puts you in a crummy position for stimulating
him. Your tongue will stroke the top of his penis instead of the more sensitive underside.

Forget sixty-nine and go for irrumination. Irrumination is Latin for “stay still”. Well more specifically, it’s Latin for “altar boy stay still”, but I’m not going there. For this one, he actually does a lot of the work. You lay on your back while he sits astride your upper body and thrusts—gently!!—into your mouth. While he goes at it, you will stimulate his testicles. Beware: if you’re claustrophobic this is not the position for you. If you’re not…well you can have a ton of fun.

Going down!

There are probably a gadzillion ways you can do this and I’m sure some of you could tell me a few. For a guy, oral sex is mostly about the sucking, licking and your hands. But what exactly does that mean? Here are a few tips for getting the job done. These are not step by step instructions. They’re more…tools to add to your Goddess Goodie Bag.

First and foremost, find a comfortable position. Choose one from above or try one of your own. Now, some neatniks might find it distasteful, but the key to a really good blow job is saliva. Lots and lots of saliva. Don’t try to swallow it all. Just let it go and let it coat your partner’s cock. This lubricant will help the slide of your lips and the corresponding glide of your hand.

Speaking of your hand, don’t be afraid to get it in the action while your lips are busy at the upper end of the penis. Pump away at the base, letting your hand follow the movement of your mouth up and down the shaft.

Lick, lick, lick… Try a long lick up the seam on the underside of the penis. Watch your guy squirm as you taste him from his scrotum, where the seam begins, all the way to the tip of his penis. Follow this up with a Shirley Temple. No, not the non-alcoholic drink. To perform the Shirley Temple, give a long flat lick just like you would a lollypop. Explore the little slit at the end of his penis with the tip of your tongue.

Licking is great, but eventually, your best bet is to combine it with a little suction. Move your mouth up and down the shaft. People are mixed here when it comes to teeth. Some say to keep them clear of the penis and hidden behind your lips. Many, however, say that a light scrape of teeth is downright erotic. My guy tends to agree. Whichever way you lean, applying light vacuum action will draw a reaction. Close your mouth around him, suck some of the air from your mouth and pull back your head. Viola! Vacuum. Thrashing, moaning or calling forth deities may commence.

This is a good time to focus on the head of his penis. Show him you appreciate his head, too. Suck as firmly as you can, flicking your tongue over him and pressing it to that spot just below the head on the underside. More thrashing. More moaning. You might just become his god.

Don’t be surprised if his hand ends up on your head here. Most guys find this to be a loving connection to you and a way to tell you they like what you’re doing.

I’d be remiss if I left out the testicles. Not every guy likes them touched. Find out before you proceed. If your guy is for it, lick them and draw them gently into your mouth. Unlike with the penis, a firm touch will not be appreciated. While you’re investigating his jewels, don’t forget to touch him…everywhere. Just because your mouth is focused on his penis, doesn’t mean that’s the only place to touch.

Avoiding the Reflex

So you wanna perform oral sex on your man, but you’re afraid of the very unromantic gag reflex. And who could blame you? There’s nothing sexy about that. There are several ways to get around it. Before I discuss those, I’d like to debunk a myth. Good fellatio has nothing to do with deep-throating your guy. The most sensitive part of the penis is the tip. As The Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides points out: the rest is just for show. Sure your guy will enjoy the stimulation you give him, but the best bang for your buck is to focus on the tip or on the frenulum. The frenulum is just below the head on the underside of the cock. Some guys will go off just from stimulation there. With that said, if you still want to try the deep-throat method, do it from the sixty-nine position because it straightens the path to your throat.

But you want to know how to avoid the gag reflex… Your number one method of avoidance is communication. If your guy doesn’t know he’s causing this to happen, he won’t stop. Few guys want to displease their partners and like I’ve mentioned, nearly all guys love fellatio. They want you to come back for more…so tell them so they can help.

If you just can’t speak up about this, try wrapping your fist around the base of his cock. This will restrict his penetration. Another method would be to have your partner on his back. Place your forearms over his pelvis to restrict unwanted thrusting. Finally, breathing through your nose will keep your gag reflex from reacting.

To Swallow or Not to Swallow…That Is the Question

Okay, I’ll be the first to say it. I don’t. But after my research, I might because let me tell you, women I’ve talked to who can swallow feel pretty triumphant and feel as if they’ve reached the pinnacle of pleasing their man. Talk about power. And you didn’t even have to mess up your hair. Additionally, many men feel more loved or accepted if their partner swallows. No matter what, though, you should only do this if you want to, not because you feel you should.

There are plenty of reasons why a woman doesn’t like to swallow. Taste, texture, yuck factor…or maybe they just like to watch him come. Sometimes it depends on how well you know the man and how you feel about him. If you don’t know him well, use a condom. It eliminates this section entirely.

Let’s face it. Ejaculate is an acquired taste. Did you like coffee the first time you tried it? Maybe you still don’t. Maybe you love it. The same is true with cum. And like coffee, different guys come in different flavours. The taste is directly influenced by what your guy eats. Sweets will make the ejaculate sugary while coffee will make it bitter. Foods such as cinnamon are carried in the semen. Some women report that pineapple has an immediate and pleasant result in their guy’s flavour.

Still put off by the taste? Jay Wiseman suggests in Tricks—125 Ways to Make Sex Better that just before your guy comes, put your tongue over the head of his penis. By doing this, the ejaculate will hit the underside of your tongue where there are no taste buds. Another idea is to put toothpaste or a mint in your mouth just before sucking. It will vastly improve the taste.

But what is that stuff? Semen is primarily proteins, vitamins and sugars. It’s 10 to 40 calories and perfectly safe if the man is disease free. More specifically, the Kinsey Institute (reprinted in Details magazine) describes the chemical make-up of semen as: “The chemicals vary somewhat, depending on the man's diet, health, and frequency of ejaculation, but the average ejaculate consists mostly of protein, citric acid, fructose (a complex sugar), sodium, and chloride. There are smaller amounts of ammonia, ascorbic acid, acid phosphatase, calcium, carbon dioxide, cholesterol, prostaglandins, creatine, other minerals, and numerous other chemicals.”

Swallowing will not give you an extra dose of male hormone—that’s dumped directly into your guy’s blood stream, not his semen. Additionally, you have few worries about germs. A healthy man’s ejaculate has fewer germs than his saliva…and we all know by this point you’ve already been kissing all over him. Germs are not an issue.

If you want to swallow, here are a few tips. One of the easiest ways to go about this, is to let the semen pool in your mouth until your partner is finished, then swallow. Another technique is to fill you mouth with saliva when you know your partner is on the verge of orgasm. This will thin his semen when he comes and help get it out of your mouth quickly. Finally, the best way to decrease taste and texture is to get his penis as far back in your mouth as you can and start swallowing quickly.

Of course, if you like to watch him come, get out of the line of fire and slide your hand up and down his cock. Remember the three Fs. Fast. Furious. Firm. Then watch the fireworks explode. Ah, the fireworks. What a lovely ending to a lovely day.

Have fun! Brynn

Brynn Paulin


Thank you to the wonderful Brynn Paulin for a fabulous article on the art of fellatio. I'm certainly taking notes!! LOL


WoooooHoooo! So, the launch competition 'Tales from the Toybox' comes to a close, and we have the winners...


LittleLambLost wins the
Animal Magic Rabbit Rouser
Maria V wins the Double Bunny vibrator
Bamabelle wins the Bow Nipple Clips
BooskRForever wins the The art of the Quickie

So, ladies a huge congratulations to you all. If you'd like to contact me (Dee Lishuz) at competitions @ (no spaces), and put 'blog winner' in the header, give me your name and postal address and your prizes will be sent to you from the wonderful

The eBook winners through the launch week were:

Amy Smith
Laura K

Well done ladies. I hope you all enjoy your prizes! Hugs (from a very jealous Dee Licious)


InNeedofaMan said...

Thanks for the lesson this morning, Brynn. I'm tempted to go out into the street and flag down a passing car to try it out.

Brynn Paulin said...

LOL, inneed. Make sure to use one of those unlubricated condoms. The lubricated ones taste and smell yucky. Talk about the ick factor.And be careful that the guy you flag down isn't a cop. That could be touchy *g*
Have fun!

Bronwyn Green said...

Excellent article Brynn! I'm thinking that if the hubby doesn't piss me off between now and bedtime, he might find himself very happy tonight. ;)

littlelamblst said...

That was a very informative post. Wish I had had someone to tell me all of that when I was young and nervous.

Congratulations to all of the winners of the blog week and many thanks to TotalEbound for all of the fun.

Claire S said...

I absolutely loved this article Brynn. Very enlightening! *g* Now, just how many men do you think are going to go to bed happy and satisfied after their wives read this? LOL I think you'll be their new hero!

Brynn Paulin said...

Well, Bronwyn. I hope he's smart. Maybe you should have him read the article...then give him a wink.

Little, I wish the same thing. I had no idea...

Thanks Claire! I appreciate the opportunity. It was a ton of fun to do.

bamabelle said...

Thanks Brynn, for the informative post! :)

Thanks everyone, so much for the fun win. A new toy, yay!

Congratulations to all the other winners this week!

barbara huffert said...

A word of caution...test your partner's multi-tasking abilities before attempting this in a moving car!

Dakota Rebel said...

So, as I am scrolling down this post, my eye picks up a book cover to the left of the words. And I swear to you I thought the name of the book was "Sonny's Salavation." Hmm, I think it is a sign and my honey is going to be very happy tonight as well.


Amarinda Jones said...

Lick, suck, it...

Sue A. said...

Thanks Brynn for the very informative post!

Congratulations to all of this week's winners!

Brynn Paulin said...

Thanks baba! I learned a few things ;-)

Barbara... tell me you haven't tried it. Wait! I mean: Tell Us!!!

Dakota, Amarinda, Sue... Have fun trying it out!!


Lisabet Sarai said...

Great article, Brynn!

I've found that for many men, oral sex is more special than POC (plain old copulation!), apparently because they've met a lot of women who won't go down on them. You definitely can produce one grateful guy with even a half-effective blow job.

One technique that you didn't mention much is the varying the tempo. Fast and furious till he's close, then s-l-o-w and seductive to keep him on the edge ... he might be a bit frustrated at the time, but when he finally comes, the experience will be much more intense.


Brynn Paulin said...

Thanks Lisbet. Oh yeah...slow is good.


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