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31.10.07

SPLIT PERSONALITY

A Day in the Life of Carol Lynne


As a wife and mother, it’s often difficult to separate my private life from my professional one. I’ve developed a sort of split personality, mother one minute, erotic romance author the next. One personality lives in the land of milk and honey, while the other lives in the land of milk and Cheerios. Most days, I’m able to find a balance between the two, but some days one personality becomes dominant and all hell breaks loose. What you are about to read is a peek inside both personalities.

8 A.M. - My day starts with my handsome lover, Gino, waking me with kisses down my spine. Rolling over, I grin and whisper, “Good morning, love.” He smiles back before continuing his daily quest to worship me in every way.

9 A.M. - Finally, we both decide its time to get up and start our day. As I take a shower, Gino goes down to fix my morning cappuccino from the expensive machine he bought just because he loves me.

9:45 A.M. - Sitting down at the sunny breakfast table, I sip my frothy brew as I nibble on strawberries and croissants. The day is starting just the way I like it. Gino comes into the room, fresh from his shower, and I stand to help him straighten his tie. “You look handsome this morning, lover,” I say as I stand on tip-toes to kiss him. Gino has other ideas and pulls me higher, his large hands on my ass as he devours my mouth. Giggling, I swat his chest. “You’re going to be late again.” Gino swears I’m more important than the visiting dignitaries he’s meeting with that morning. I swoon and tell him I’ll see him later. After a few more kisses, I finally get him out the door.

10 A.M. – As I sit in the outdoor gazebo, fresh cappuccino at my side, my day as a writer officially begins. The words flow as fast as my fingers can type. The sex scenes so steamy I’m forced to take off my jacket a short time later.

Noon – I’ve become so wrapped up in my story, I’m not even aware of the time, until Gino calls to remind me to eat lunch. He’s such a thoughtful man, promising to bring home dinner because he knows I’m on a deadline. I talk to him as I make a nice bowl of salad with the homemade vinaigrette Gino makes for me. What would I do without him?

1 P.M. – After lunch, I return to the gazebo, glass of refreshing iced tea in hand. I ease right back into writing mode, and knock out a quick four thousand words before I realize the afternoon has slipped away.

4 P.M. – Shutting down the laptop, I rush inside to take another shower, making sure to use the almond scented body wash Gino likes so much.

5 P.M. – By the time my man walks through the door, Italian take-out in hand, I’m dressed to the nines and ready to begin my evening. “You look absolutely breathtaking,” Gino moans, as he takes me into his arms. “Even an hour away from you is an eternity.”

STOP, put on the brakes. Okay, that’s my dream day. Unfortunately, I live in the real world, with daily drama. The following is a fair account of my real day. I warn you, it’s not pretty.

4:30 A.M. – I manage to open one, blood-shot eye to look at the clock. Okay, I’ve got another thirty minutes of sleep. As I close my eye again, I have these mean little devils that keep poking at me to get up and write their story. Believe me, at 4:30 even the hottest cowboy alive isn’t my friend.

4:45 A.M. – I finally give up on that extra half hour of sleep, and crawl out of bed, usually stubbing at least one toe on a toy left on the floor. I stumble to the bathroom and make the mistake of turning on the light. Okay, I’ve got what only can be described as flash-burn for the next fifteen minutes, great.

5:00 A.M. – I get into my work uniform of sweats and a T-shirt and walk downstairs. First things first, coffee, lots of it. I get down my cup that some in my family describe as a soup bowl, and fill it with hot tap water. Putting it into the microwave, I go into the living room and power up my laptop. At the beep of the microwave, I head back into the kitchen and fix my first cup of Taster’s Choice instant coffee. Yes, you read that right. I’m a woman who drinks coffee from five in the morning until ten at night and I only drink instant. I like it, I can make it as strong or as weak as I want, and every cup is a little different. Nothing like a little variety to spice up my life.

5:10 A.M. – Grab a cigarette and hope like hell it’s not so cold outside that my butt cheeks freeze to the porch step.

5:13 A.M. – I’m ready to start my day. As I read what I wrote the night before, I try to figure out what gremlins have had their way with my story. I must have been really tired. I had absolutely no intention of Cal making love to a heifer. After shaking off my disgust, I correct the love scene, this time adding an actual man. Okay, that makes a lot more sense.

6:45 A.M. – I’m not always sure what really happens between five fifteen and six forty-five. All I know is that quiet peaceful morning I was enjoying is suddenly a thing of the past and it’s time to wake up the girls. Another whole drama over “five more minutes” ensues with me usually getting angry and just turning on the lights and pulling down the covers.

7 A.M. – 7:45 A.M.– My husband comes out of the bedroom in his oh-so-sexy tighty whities and scratches his butt as he tries to cough up a lung, nice. Trying to persuade my oldest daughter that yes, she does in fact love chicken strips this week, and can eat lunch at school for a change. Once I get her off to school, I make another cup of coffee and have another cigarette. One child down, one to go.

8 A.M. – Trying to get back into the middle of a sex scene is hard when I can hear Sponge Bob coming from the kitchen as my youngest eats her morning bowl of cereal.

8:30 A.M. - After ordering her to the basement I have peace and quiet again. Don’t give me that look. It’s not like my basement’s a dungeon or anything. There are toys a plenty down there along with a television. I begin writing the pivotal love scene in the book. It’s always my favorite part.

8:45 A.M. – My concentration is shattered when a little face peers around the corner of my chair asking for a snack. Stopping mid-thrust, I turn to my daughter and remind her that she just finished breakfast fifteen minutes ago. She gives me a sour look and goes back downstairs to get out every Lego and Barbie she has, spreading them liberally around the room.

9:00 A.M. – Another cup of coffee and a much needed cigarette break.

9:05 A.M. – Checking emails, I see that there’s a way to increase the size of my cock. Well, good to know.

9:15 A.M. – Getting back to my wayward characters, I’m once again interrupted by the angelic face asking for a snack. I’m not a bad mother, really I’m not, but occasionally I yell and tell that sweet little girl to grab what she can find as long as she leaves me alone for awhile.

10: A.M. – My stomach rumbles so loud my laptop begins vibrating. I remember I didn’t eat breakfast, so I jump up and fix another cup of coffee and grab a Pop-Tart. Settling back into my chair, I begin again.

11:00 A.M. – Time to get my daughter’s lunch and get her ready for school. By this time, my husband is usually back from feeding cows or mowing hay, and I also fix his lunch.

Noon – Daughter number two is finally off to school and husband number one is getting ready for work. With a fresh cup of coffee, I begin again, only to be interrupted by the phone. It’s one of the hundred or so veterans’ charities wanting yet another donation.

1:30 to 2:45 – Bliss, pure bliss. Everyone is finally gone, and I can really write the steamy stuff. It’s usually my luck that my mother-in-law decides to call and let me know yet again that she’s a better housekeeper than I am. That reminds me that I need to do laundry, which leads to dusting. I usually have just enough time to check my email again, and find out that I’ve won a million dollars in the British Lotto—am I the only one who gets this crap? I happen to pass a mirror and realize not only haven’t I showered, but I haven’t even brushed my hair. Damn, I hope no one saw me the ten times I’ve sat on my porch to smoke a cigarette. I rush upstairs for a quick shower, usually going to pick the girls up from school with wet hair.

My evenings are filled with dinner, homework, housework, and snippets of time to write. From eight-thirty to ten-thirty I get my last chance of the day to create a good day’s worth of work. Usually by this time, my mind is mush, and I end up writing about cowboys and heifers.

Pretty sexy, huh? No wonder I write erotic romance.


Carol's Avatar
Carol Lynne

Latest Release from Carol Lynne:


For twins, Ryker and Ranger Good, life has never been easy. Kicked out of the house when they were barely eighteen, the brothers started a new life, together.

Now in their thirties they are ready to make a commitment, not only to each other but to the woman they’ve waited to claim for four years.
Lilly Bevin has been in love with the Good twin’s for years, only to be treated like a child by them.

Now twenty-one, Lilly’s ready to spread her wings. Working in the town bar is just one of the ways she’s declaring her independence, dating is the other.


When the twin’s find out the woman they want is dating a smarmy hustler they try to talk some sense into her, only to be told to butt out. Now it’s up to them to tame their wildcat and bring her into the fold of their love.

A wildcat, however, has claws and Lilly isn’t shy about using hers to her advantage.

HOT & very ADULT excerpt!

The closer they got to the house, the more Ryker wanted to play. He stole brief kisses and rode with his arm stretched behind Lilly, buried in the depths of Ranger’s black curls. “Will you stay the night?” he finally asked Lilly.

“Yes,” she replied, giving him a kiss.

Ryker could tell she was nervous. Smoothing his palm down her cheek, he kissed her again. “We’ll take it slow. If nothing else it would be heaven just to hold you between us while we sleep.”

“We’ll see how things go. I’ve waited so long nothing seems real.” Lilly worried her lip which Ryker was becoming accustomed to.

He licked the poor offended lip and ran his hand up under her skirt to rest on her thigh. Ryker looked up and caught Ranger watching his every move. He couldn’t tell by the look on Ranger’s face whether he was getting horny or something else. “Sweetheart, I think Ranger’s feeling left out.”

“Oh, we can’t have that,” Lilly said as she turned to kiss Ranger’s jaw. He turned his head slightly and tried to kiss her while keeping his eyes on the road. Ryker smiled when Ranger released a soft moan as they broke the kiss. Knowing Ranger was just as nervous as Lilly was somehow very endearing.

With the mood in the truck shifting into playful, Ryker moved his hand higher under Lilly’s skirt as he began kissing her neck. He smiled against her soft skin as she shifted enough to let him know his actions were welcome. Running his fingers over the lace of her panties he could already feel moisture soaking his fingers. “Mmm,” he moaned.

Ryker looked into her green eyes seeking permission to go even further. Her answer was to open completely for him, hooking one leg over Ranger’s thigh and one leg over his. Ryker rewarded her faith with a deep thrusting kiss as his fingers slipped under the leg of her panties to drag across her slit.

Lilly broke the kiss and tilted her head back as the first of his fingers worked its way inside the creamy depths of her pussy. “Oh God.”

He watched as Ranger fidgeted in his seat as he tried to keep his eyes on the smooth blacktop. “Come on,” he said to Ranger, “you can drive one handed, I know you can.”

With a sideways glance, Ranger removed one hand from the wheel. As soon as Ryker felt Ranger’s fingers slide in beside his, he withdrew and sucked one digit into his mouth. “Holy fuck, you taste good.” He held the other finger in front of Ranger’s mouth.

Ranger opened, seemingly eager for his first taste of Lilly. Ranger sucked his finger like he wanted to take the skin off. “Hey, I didn’t expect to draw back a stub,” Ryker joked.

“Sorry,” Ranger mumbled, releasing Ryker. Ranger looked down at the speedometer, “Ten more miles,” he said, pressing a little harder on the gas.

Whatever Ranger was doing with his hidden hand, seemed to be doing the trick for Lilly as she began to squirm in her seat, panting. Ranger looked over at Ryker. “Rub her clit.”

Unbuckling his seat belt, Ryker grinned. “I can do better than that.” He flipped Lilly’s skirt up as he buried his face against her partially exposed pussy. Running his tongue over the small triangle of closely cropped hair about her slit, he inhaled. “You smell good, sweetheart.”

Lilly answered by reaching down and trying to pull her panties off. Her actions were so frantic and mindless she wasn’t getting anywhere. “Off,” she cried.

Chuckling, Ryker slid her wet panties down her legs and off. He handed the garment to Ranger. “Smell.”

As Ranger inhaled the scent of Lilly’s desire, Ryker went back to her pussy. With his tongue poised at her channel, he thrust deeply into her core.

“Uhh,” Lilly stiffened and grabbed Ryker’s hair.

With his nose pressed against her clit, Ryker began torturing her pussy with his tongue, lapping every ounce of cream her body produced. When her grip tightened even more he slid his tongue up and covered her clit with his lips, sucking and biting down gently.

“Ryker,” she screamed as she came.

Moving back down, Ryker scooped cum from her body with his tongue as he unzipped his jeans. Taking his throbbing cock in hand it only took two strokes for his own orgasm to overtake him.

“Fuck,” Ranger howled.

Ryker looked up in time to see Ranger’s cock empty its seed onto the steering wheel with Lilly’s hand wrapped firmly around it. The smell of sex was so strong inside the truck cab, Ryker’s cock continued to twitch in his fist.

13 comments:

Dakota Rebel said...

Where did you get that picture of me sleeping on my laptop?

That was a great post. The truth about moms who write smut. I love it. My daughter likes to whine "But WHY can't I look at your computer screen?" and "WHY are you always doing 'grown up' stuff?"

So I got an office job and I try to write at work when no one is looking. I would much rather have your dream morning, but then...who wouldn't?

XoXoXo
Dakota

Carol Lynne said...

Thanks, Dakota. My babies have no idea what mommy writes, but they are my biggest supporters. Before I received my first contract, they offered to sell my books out in the front yard. EEEKS! I can just imagine what the neigbors would've thought.

Marie Harte said...

Carol,
This was the funniest post I've read in a while! Though I'd rather dream that some authors live your dream life, I think the reality is far more hilarious. I'm like you, except that I can't function until at least 10 in the a.m. My writing is usually done late at night, or on those blessed days when my youngest is at Mother's Day Out from 10 to 1 a few times a week.
Keep at it. And so long as you keep smoking instead of eating during your breaks (chocolate's my vice), you'll stay both skinny and productive. :)
Again, great post. Really, really funny.
Marie Harte

Carol Lynne said...

Oh, Marie. What makes you think I'm thin? Although, I love the thought. Nope, I'm your average size 16, 42 year-old mother and housewife. I haven't been thin since I was in my mothers womb. I'm taking the new pill to help me quit smoking. Winters are a bitch for outside smokers. I stand out in the rain, hail and snow. My neighbors all think I'm a little touched in the head. LOL

-Carol

Brynn Paulin said...

Great post!! I'd like Gino to come and live with me, please. I adore that picture at the end. My husband has actually come home to find me like that a time or two. The impression of keyboard keys in your cheek is soooo attractive.

Thanks for a fun post and a peek into Carol's life.

Bronwyn's Blog said...

What a fun post, Carol! Oh the life of a writer...for me, instead of cigarette breaks, it's cleaning up cat puke...there's glamour for you. ;)

Karen Erickson said...

Love the dream post - the reality post is awfully close to my own reality! Yes we really do lead a glamorous life huh? :)

LynTaylor said...

OMG Carol! You've just described my day down to a T! Especially the 'go get it yourself and leave me alone' bit, ha ha!!

I usually live to regret this as I usually end up having to hose down the kitchen once they've been in there unsupervised LOL.

Lisabet Sarai said...

What a wonderful post! I'm in awe
that you can manage three kids and
still create a steady stream of
steamy fiction.

Guess it helps to have a vivid
imagination!

Thanks for sharing this snippet of
your double life.

Kaz Augustin said...

I was going to take the mickey, considering this is your first blog post, but you slayed me, Carol! ROFL. Great post. Keep it up! (That's to go with the penis-increasing strategies you keep reading about.) ;)

Kaz

Lyn Cash said...

Terrific post, Carol - still laughing here. *grin*

Jennah said...

Oh, too funny! Sounds remarkably familiar ;)

Chantal said...

I thought I had an interesting job. As a lactation consultant I get to deal with boobs and babies. I'll take Gino over that any day. LOL