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14.12.07

Talking Dirty with Dakota

My latest completed work is a book about phone sex. I talked about it alot on my blog because I had so much fun writing it. It ended up funny and cute and endearing and wonderful. Of course. I was ready to be congratulated from my 10's of fans for completing yet another work in so short a time frame. But what I was not prepared for was being inundated with emails from smut writing women who confessed that they cannot talk dirty to their partners.

What? Really? We write these words a thousand times a month. Our characters have mouths like sailors. Our minds are filthy and our fingers tired. (From typing! Don't dip your heads into the gutter yet, we haven't even started the lesson.) And yet, to open your mouths and let the words pour out causes you to freeze in your tracks. Well never fear my darlings, Dakota is here to help.

I am a master of talking dirty. I think it comes from working in male dominated environments my entire working career. One of my best friends is ACTUALLY a sailor and he has taught me some of my favorite words. Some of them aren't even in English. Cuss words have always fallen from my lips like rain from the heavens. Though I have to admit there was a time when I was bashful about talking in bed too.

The following tips are for reference only. They were designed to make you feel more comfortable talking with your partner during sexy time. If they do not work, then you are doing them wrong. No, just kidding. I believe there are some of you who will find that you are just to proper to let a good 'cock' slip from your lips.

Double entendre - See above. If you start making inappropriate jokes outside of the bedroom, you can grow accustomed to saying the words in front of others.

Try practicing in the mirror. - Next time you have the house to yourself, go into your bathroom, lock the door if it helps you relax, then look at yourself in the mirror. Start talking. First, just say the words. The F's, the C's, the P's, jump right in with the biggies. Then, try to string them into sentences. Tell your reflection what you would like your partner to do to you, or for you. And vice versa. You may feel silly, but you need to get used to voicing the words.

Talk to your partner outside of the bedroom. - Don't worry, I don't mean that you have to say the words a few times in the mirror then go all filthy on your honey at the dinner table. I mean tell them what you are interested in trying. They will be supportive of your efforts because they love you and want you to be happy.

Ask your partner to talk to you. - Hearing your darling whisper (or yell) sexy words to you will do wonders for loosening your tongue, and your inhibitions in general. And you get the added bonus of knowing what level of filth they are comfortable with. (This particular is tip was incredibly helpful to me because my fear of talking dirty was more about his reaction than actually saying the words out loud.)

Start simple. - When you think you might be ready to talk to them, start slow. Begin with a soft 'oh yeah.' 'That feels nice.' Or, 'I love how you do that.' You don't have to jump right in to the demanding and the dirty talk. Just get yourself used to actually speaking during the act.

Are you ready? Are you excited? Is your mouth watering or is it dry as the Sahara? Are you trembling in anticipation, or is that gut wrenching fear? Don't worry, you'll do great. You will feel liberated and free and your partner will appreciate all of your efforts to open up and tell them exactly how to please you.

And remember, if all of the above steps fail miserably, you can always do what I did to be able to talk dirty to Mr. Rebel for the first time. Get piss drunk.

XoXoXo

Dakota Rebel
Dakota Rebel

5 comments:

Amarinda Jones said...

I am just astounded someone as pure and innocent as yourself would talk dirty...what a shocker

Dakota Rebel said...

Flattery will get you everywhere with me AJ.

lyntaylor said...

Quickly grabs pen & paper .... 'Oh yeah' ... 'That feels good' ... 'I like it when you do that'. Right. Got it ;)

Would be nice if I could actually get some bathroom time for myself without kids barging in or trying to break the door down. Christ! You'd think that I'd left the country the way they carry on LOL.

Bronwyn's Blog said...

Excellent article, Dakota!

Lyn Cash said...

Dakota, I don't know if I'm cracking up laughing from relief that someone addressed this issue or if it's that last line that tickled me - ROFLMAO. Great post, woman.

Okay, I'm also giggly because I'm remember my first try at talking dirty - it sure helped that nothing was sacred with the guy I was with at the time. Lord, he was a dirty beast.