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Be True to You....

"If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect, will you compel others to respect you." -- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

An acquaintance of mine recently told me she did not get a certain job because she was too old and fat. “They told you that?” I was aghast. I was ready to go to that potential employer and tear strips off them for there stance on employing people.
“No, I just knew that.”
It turns out she went in there to fail – not intentionally but she had the mindset that she wasn’t good enough. She was worried about her age and her weight and pretty much talked herself out of any chance at the job. She believed someone would be better than her – be it in looks or age. Her self esteem was lower than a snake’s belly. Has she got a new job yet? No, and no amount of positive talk from any of her friends is sinking in because she can only see the negatives.

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. ~Sally Field

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

To my mind, the need to be thin, pretty and wrinkle free is vastly overrated. Humans have defects. As women we need to accept that. Skinny super models are not realistic role models. What about the need to be a good, caring person? Why don’t we praise that as highly as we do a small butt? Why worry about age? Hell, I get better with age. I never want to be 20 again. I’m 44 and I love me. Yeah, I have flaws but I prefer to call them “interesting character traits.” Being true to myself is more important than worrying whether I fit in with the ‘in’ crowd. Confidence kicks the arse of media perceptions of beauty any day. And let’s face it, as women we love confidence in a man. It’s sexy. So why don’t we follow suit?

I think we are losing the plot when it comes to worrying about what people think of us. So you think your arse is too big, your hips too wide and your breasts could be perkier? So what if that’s all true? Are you any less of a person because of it? Why worry about what others think of you? I realized a very long time ago – at eighteen years old to be exact and it hit me like a bolt of lightning - that I did not need to care what people thought about me. There are always going to be people who don’t like your face, hair, looks or attitude but that’s their problem. Yeah, I know easy to say but hard to do. Try it bit by bit and day by day. Am I mad with such radical thinking? Probably - but I am happy with who I am cellulite, wrinkles and all. Sure there are more classic beauties with smoother skin and perky boobs but they are not me. Too bad for them. I am one of a kind and need no facsimiles.

"Whatever reason you have for not being somebody, there's somebody who had that same problem and overcame it." -- Barbara Reynolds

So, think about it…how good are you? Is there anyone else like you on the planet? No, of course not. You are unique. Remember that next time your confidence falters or you look at your backside in the mirror and think “Oh ick.” You are an original. Besides real women have cellulite. It’s what helps you rebound when you fall on your arse.

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not. ~Author Unknown

The Goddess Within - book one in The Goddess Grind series...

Mardi Keller-thirty-two, beautiful and delicious and I need you in my life.”
“Are you on drugs?” If he wasn’t insane that had to be it.
Stryker threw back his ahead and laughed.
“Don’t you believe in love at first sight?”
Maybe that happened, maybe not. She had no proof. Other than having the best sex of her life, Mardi knew they probably did not have a lot in common. Great sex did not mean a great love or even an okay marriage.
“I don’t run or exercise, I love eating junk food and I am hooked on

reality television.” No point beating around the bush. Mardi wasn’t about to change for anyone not even the man with the enormous erection headed straight towards her. Her legs dropped open of their own accord.

“Are you trying to turn me off?’“Look at you and me. You’re all lean and buff.” And mighty yummy. Mardi grabbed his hand and put in on her thigh. “This is cellulite or fat if you want to be specific.”

Stryker stroked her thigh sensuously, his eyes locked on the red curls of her pussy. “On you cellulite is sexy.” He leaned into her giving nowhere to go but flat on her back under him.

“Well yes, that is the correct response to give.” Was it hot in here or what? Mardi fell back onto the carpet and Stryker took advantage and lay down between her parted thighs. A good girl would have sat up and struggled but then a good girl would not have had sex the first time with—and be contemplating sex again with—a man she barely knew. Bad girls rocked. “But can’t you see but you’re so…and I’m so…”

I’m so what Miss Mardi?” Stryker hands slid up her ribcage to her breasts and teasingly moulded the mounds of flesh.

“You’re gorgeous.” And that cocky smile of his was a killer. “You could have any super model look-alike you wanted.”

“I don’t want a plastic woman. I want a real woman.” Stryker’s eyes locked on hers. “I want you.”

The Goddess Within - Ms. Jones’ characters are real, they act as real people would, the women aren’t toothpicks, they are normal sized with normal personalities. I love that the characters are relatable to the reader that is what makes or breaks a storyline in my opinion.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Jamie Hill said...

Wow, what an inspirational post! Thanks for sharing.


Kelly Kirch said...

Thanks for the goddess reminder, AJ. You are such a champion for self-image.

Cindy Spencer Pape said...

Brilliant, as usual. And a good reminder on a day I was looking in the mirror going, "bleh!"

Heather Hiestand said...

Good for you, Amarinda! We can never hear too many pep talks. Especially as women get older, it does get harder to keep a positive self image, but we've earned the right to be proud of our bodies and our accomplishments.

Anny Cook said...

Thank you, dear. I'm listening. Really!

Amarinda Jones said...

Thank you all - my understanding is no woman is unattractive or dumb - we all kick arse - we just have to allow ourselves to remember that

Ashlyn Chase said...

Great thoughts, darlin'!!!

Recommend to your friend the book or film, The Secret.


Sandra Cox said...

Excellent advise oh great one. And we at the pond appreciate those interesting character traits of yours:)

Anonymous said...

Fantastic post as usual Amarinda :D

Lisabet Sarai said...

I can only echo others' comments. A wonderful, spirit-raising post, and a fabulous excerpt to go with it.

I'll be 55 next week. I'd never want to go back to who I was when I was in my twenties!

Hugs to you, Amarinda!

Ashley Ladd said...

I wish everyone thought as you do. I so agree.

I've written a few books where the heroine is a larger size lady than the normal heroine. They have the same emotions, thoughts, dreams, feelings. I should say, 'we' do. I was a larger size, I dropped down a lot, but I'm sneaking back up.

Whatever size I am, as you say, I'm still "me" and I like me.