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"Not Tonight Honey. I Have A Headache."

We have all been there. Sometimes you are just not in the mood. Maybe you’ve had a particularly stressful day at work, with the children, real life problems, or are simply not feeling well. As a result, you want nothing more than to relax a bit, then go to bed and sleep ... undisturbed. The thought of making hot passionate love is so far at the back of your mind it would take a blow torch to warm you up.Fortunately there are some excellent books out there on which I would personally put a ‘Blow Torch’ heat rating.But, let’s get real. If you had a bad day at work and came home to care for the children who are often sick, cook, do dishes, tidy the house, do laundry, and clean the commode, and your significant other comes home and says, “Come here baby and give Big Daddy some lovin’,” Big Daddy better duck and run.

So, what about the authors who write those hot and steamy books that as readers you often escape into … books that help create the mood for romance?As an author, I find the love scenes the most difficult part of the book to write. Just like in real life where you have to be in a particular frame of mind and mood to do it … I need to be in the mood to write it. For me, those scenes are best written in the late evening or night hours. I do my best work if I set the mood … a hot bubble bath to relax me, candles burning, my special romantic mood music playing, and maybe even a glass of wine. It also doesn't hurt to read something with a bit of sizzle.

Writing a love scene – If we’re totally honest, no matter how creative your lovers might be, there are only so many ways to do it, only so many ways to describe foreplay and having sex. Insert tab A into slot B, isn’t going to cut it. Yet as an author, you have to bring something different to it every time, so the reader doesn’t feel like they are reading the same love scene over and over again.

First and foremost you have to have a hero and heroine who are unique onto themselves. Well developed characters who carry the story, attraction, sexual tension and emotion to the natural conclusion of them making love. You’ll note that I said ‘natural’ conclusion.

What other elements come into play that make each love scene different? The setting. I admit it. I have fun with this part. There is of course the comfortable bed which can be a novel experience if you consider some of the places that we, as authors, have our characters making love. Just to name a few, I’ve had my hero and heroine on the floor in front of a fireplace, the back of a sofa, a hot-tub, the shower, a claw foot bath tub, and in the bottom of a boat in the middle of a lake beneath 4th of July fireworks. I had one couple on a porch swing, but as I was writing I had a vision of the brackets pulling from the ceiling with my hero and heroine crashing to the redwood floor in a painful, unromantic tangle of arms, legs, and miscellaneous body parts. Easy solution, when things got hot and heavy, I simply moved them to a padded chase. And of course we can’t forget my gorgeous Demon Wind cover with hero and heroine making love on the beach at midnight.

Back to my ‘not tonight honey, I have a headache’ theme. What we put our characters through is shameful. You have no idea how many weeks I left my hero and heroine in that claw foot bath tub, having sex. Fortunately, my hero had magical abilities and was able to keep the water warm. I felt so guilty when I got back to them and finally allowed the to find satisfaction that I dried them off, put them to bed and let them sleep it off before I put them through anything else.

Ever wonder about the feasibility of some of the sexual situations in which the hero and heroine find themselves? How about a familiar favorite that we’ve all read -- the counter top? As a writer who is obsessive compulsive about the accuracy of my research, I measured my kitchen cabinet from the floor to counter top. From my own personal experience, I can tell you that it isn’t going to happen. Unless of course, the gentleman in question stands on a stool, which would ruin the effect, especially if he fell of at a crucial point. Hummmm, I can visualize that particular scenario for a romantic comedy though. ((Grabbing my notebook to write that one down for possible future use)). Check it out for yourself ladies. Have your significant other stand in front of your kitchen counter top and see if you could pull it off.

However, there is an exception to every rule. One day at work, I stepped from my and saw a male co-worker standing beside the counter holding the coffeemaker. Well I’ll be damned! It all depends on the height of the counter and the height of the gentleman who is … shall we say … drinking the coffee?

That’s what I love about writing fiction. Regardless of what I might be doing, my muse is never far away, always on the look out. Regardless of the situation or the setting, a writer can do anything, create anything, put their characters through anything feasible or otherwise and make it seem possible.

In the past weeks we’ve had other TEB authors at Hitting The Hot-Spot talk about the perceptions people who read our work have about us and/or our sex lives. Of course there are some lucky erotica writers who have significant others who reap the benefits of the author’s creative process or who are happy to offer their services for a bit of hands on research. Unfortunately, some of us, like myself, are single. I hate to burst the bubble of any reader who imagines that erotica authors lead exciting lives and have experienced all we write about. For me personally, the act of creating a hot, explicit sex scene is comprised of equal parts of sitting at my computer doing research, staring at a blinking cursor for long periods of time, an overactive imagination, and a damn good memory.

However, my somewhat quirky muse, Cybill, thinks there is another option. I could hire a male research assistant. Successful authors hire assistants all the time, and write the assistant’s salary off their income taxes as a business expense. According to Cybill’s often bizarre logic, a single, female erotica author should be able to hire a male assistant to help research those necessary, hot and steamy scenes and write him off her taxes right along with books on human sexuality, paper, ink cartridges, and postage. In some twisted way, it does make perfect sense. The application/screening process as I check for experience and … qualifications … for the job would be tough but I think I could force myself to endure the challenge. Unfortunately, my tax lady who is a voracious romance reader, seems to think the IRS would frown on that one. She did however, promise to let me know if she found a loophole.

On a positive note, once during a discussion with several romance authors, all of us single, we reached the consensus that sexual frustration makes for the hottest sex scenes.

For other authors out there, how about sharing what influences impact the love scenes you write? What, if anything, make them difficult or impossible to write? What do you do to set the mood? Was there a particular scene, setting, or sexual situation that you put your hero and heroine through that remains a personal favorite?

Kay Wilde - Give In To Temptation
Demon Wind - Novella Length - Now Available


Nicola Harris said...

Ah, yes. Happily married with kids does not a rampaging sex life make! Once the chores are done, the bath and bedtime and night time stories are completed, all I want to do is sink into a chair with a good book, or into bed for a good f....falling asleep session.

Poor hubby. Sometimes he benefits from what I write and unfortunately for him (gulp) he never inspires my sex scenes. After eleven years of marital bliss, the hot, needy passion has gone and the comfortable familiarity with each others bodies does not inspire me to write poker-hot love scenes.

What does inspire? A certain Richard Armitage (Guy of Gisbourne in Robin Hood) who happens to be my desktop background and screen saver. Then there's the very hot someone who I know in real life that I know I can't have so I dream of it instead. And then there's just my imagination. Putting together little snippets from here and there until I get a Eureka moment.

Ellen Ashe/Jade Jurgensen said...

Sex every night, thank you. No headaches here!
Luckily my husband isn't jealous because he never sees my MUSE. And I don't tell. *grin*

Lisabet Sarai said...

I personally think that the notion of a male assistant is very feasible. So what if he isn't deductible. Just think about how much fun you'd have doing the interviews.

Which of course gives me an idea for a story...!!

Great post, Kay. Single or married, ultimately it's all in the mind.

Brynn Paulin said...

I think that counter things all the time...And everytime I read it, I think 'that guy be pretty tall'. LOL that you noticed that about a guy at work *g*. I thought I was the only one whose mind worked on that track.

Kay Wilde said...


You never know where an idea for a story will come from. Go for it but be sure to let me know so I can read it.

On the other hand, knowing my luck, my research assistant would charge me with sexual harassment.


Kay Wilde said...


My muse, Cybill, is never off the clock. Something like the office counter episode and I can visualize her jumping up and down saying, "See, see, I told you so. I told you it could work, but did you listen? No, you had to waste time proving how it couldn't work.
I was right. You were wrong. Na na na na na.


Anonymous said...

Sex? What's that. Um, yeah. No hot and heady in this house, thank you very much. Even reading about it is becoming a bit of a chore. *ducks flying coffee cups* I so need a break.