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10.3.08

The Challenge of Kids

I’m not here to offer solutions on this problem. I have none. But I do have kids… I probably should have titled this living dangerously. Perhaps some of you with children will recognize some of these situations.

My boys would object to being called kids, but they still need help with their math homework just as my hero is seductively whispering, “The square root of—”

Wait!

Yes it’s difficult. What do you do? I’ve been writing since my kids were small. It used to be easier. Bedtime used to be eight PM and so was the start of my writing time. Enter adolescence. The dynamics change. Bedtime is not at eight and they can read. Over my shoulder. “Mom what does orgasm mean?”

Normally I’d say to look up a word they don't know, instead I suggest allowing them an extra half hour on their video game.

They’re also old enough to be both disgusted by romance covers and to critique them. “Mom! Ew! Why doesn’t he have on a shirt? His butt looks a kinda big…”

Sigh…

“Look, I will pay you to leave me alone this afternoon so I can finish this.”

Money, I have found, talks loudly. My kids like bribes. Of course bribes can only happen on weekends when dinner and homework don’t take precedence. And “No, I will not write your paper for you…”

I find my life with kids is a lot like The Incredibles. I have a super secret identity. The kids are wildcards. When you write erotic romance, you might not want people at the protestant church you attend to know your secret superhero identity. But the kids know. And they’re so proud that their mom is a writer. They want to tell everyone. It’s very sweet. More bribes and dire predictions ensue. But they can say anything at anytime. It’s almost like walking around with a grenade.

But at my house, we’ve settled in to a happy routine. My kids actually understand writing time. My younger son even made me a sign for my office that says “unless there’s blood or something blew up, go away”. I would like to point out that I have never said that to either of my children. And we’ve come to an agreement that they can tell anyone they want about my writing…as long as it’s not anyone from church. Their teachers are okay. They want me to talk to their classes about writing and they love the books I write. I’m not going to lie. I was a little nervous about this secret identity breach. Things have been fine.

I’m not looking forward to the next security breach which will be girlfriends or wives. Please. I’m still too young for that…

13 comments:

Bronwyn's Blog said...

Darn...I was hoping for solutions ;) My kids are constantly trying to read over my shoulder - drives me nuts!

Good luck keeping that whole secret identity thing a secret!

Anonymous said...

LOL. I remember when my daughter went to school and told all of her friends that her mommy writes books and her name is Dakota Rebel and she is famous like Hannah Montana!

We had a long talk about why mommy writes under a pen name and what the purpose of secret identity is.

But it is great when your kids are proud of you. It feels awesome.

XoXoXo
Dakota

Judith Rochelle said...

Hey Brynn
I wish I'd been able to write when my kids were growing up but life got in the way far too much. But as inquisitive as they were, I know they'd have been reading over my shoulder, sneaking into my computer, digging through the trash for any discards. Now they're all grown they are my biggest marketers but...the don't read my stuff!! In fact, they all say the same thibng: Mom, if I read t I'll need therapy. But your covers are great. So no matter the age, there's always a challenge wjhere the kids are concerned.

Catherine Chernow said...

My kids (I have two) were older when I started writing, so it wasn't too bad, but I can identify!

You have a terrific sense of humor. That's going to help you manage writing around kids, and a whole heck of a lot more in life.

Loved your writing voice in this blog post.

: )

Catherine Chernow
www.CatherineChernow.com

Wendy Taylor-Stone said...

Goodness do I know that feeling. I live with my seventeen year old sister who has to end every single introduction with, this is my sister, she writes porn for a living. I've tried to tell her it isn't exactly porn but she always comes back with...do they have sex? So I've given up.

Carol Lynne said...

My girls know better than to read over my shoulder. It's strictly enforced with corner time in my house. LOL

When I bought a new laptop last year, I purchased one with the fingerprint ID. Now I don't have to worry about them trying to sneak a peek.

Sandra Cox said...

Love the sign your kids made.
Cute!

Ashley Ladd said...

Boy, do I ever know what you mean.

I do have a daughter in law, and she's usually worse than my biological kids. I never know what will come out of her mouth and where - she's 27 and the mother of two.

Yesterday, when my son finally got my alpha smart to upload (it's SO COOL - the words just type themselves on the screen like magic) my d-i-l was watching the screen, and right in front of the kids, she goes, "Oh, my. Mom wrote 'fucking'." My kids know what kind of thing I write, but they pretend I don't and try to ignore it. My dear d-i-l likes say embarrassing, shocking things.

lyntaylor said...

LOL! Ahh yes, well try actually having to CREATE the covers with little eyes peering at the computer screen. 'Mummy, why doesn't he have a shirt on?', 'Mummy, what are they doing?'

I'm lucky at the moment, they can't read words with more than 3-5 letters in them LOL! Won't be long though.

Marie Harte said...

This is such a funny post! My older kids gladly ignore what I write, and they know it's "adult material." And thankfully the little ones, 2 and 4, can't yet read.
But I'm with you on the bedtime thing. I long for that 8:30 pm when everyone's SUPPOSED to be asleep. Then I just have to keep the husband occupied so I can type. Sadly, football and baseball aren't year round. hahaha

Marie

Marie Haynes said...

I've got a solution - Tequila - for me, not the kids! My boys are teenagers and whenever I tell them that I'm writing about sex - a personal history - they get totally grossed out and leave me alone!

Marie Haynes

Marie Haynes said...

I've got a solution - Tequila - for me, not the kids! My boys are teenagers and whenever I tell them that I'm writing about sex - a personal history - they get totally grossed out and leave me alone!

Marie Haynes said...

I've got a solution - Tequila - for me, not the kids! My boys are teenagers and whenever I tell them that I'm writing about sex - a personal history - they get totally grossed out and leave me alone!