I’m not here to offer solutions on this problem. I have none. But I do have kids… I probably should have titled this living dangerously. Perhaps some of you with children will recognize some of these situations.
My boys would object to being called kids, but they still need help with their math homework just as my hero is seductively whispering, “The square root of—”
Yes it’s difficult. What do you do? I’ve been writing since my kids were small. It used to be easier. Bedtime used to be eight PM and so was the start of my writing time. Enter adolescence. The dynamics change. Bedtime is not at eight and they can read. Over my shoulder. “Mom what does orgasm mean?”
Normally I’d say to look up a word they don't know, instead I suggest allowing them an extra half hour on their video game.
They’re also old enough to be both disgusted by romance covers and to critique them. “Mom! Ew! Why doesn’t he have on a shirt? His butt looks a kinda big…”
“Look, I will pay you to leave me alone this afternoon so I can finish this.”
Money, I have found, talks loudly. My kids like bribes. Of course bribes can only happen on weekends when dinner and homework don’t take precedence. And “No, I will not write your paper for you…”
I find my life with kids is a lot like The Incredibles. I have a super secret identity. The kids are wildcards. When you write erotic romance, you might not want people at the protestant church you attend to know your secret superhero identity. But the kids know. And they’re so proud that their mom is a writer. They want to tell everyone. It’s very sweet. More bribes and dire predictions ensue. But they can say anything at anytime. It’s almost like walking around with a grenade.
But at my house, we’ve settled in to a happy routine. My kids actually understand writing time. My younger son even made me a sign for my office that says “unless there’s blood or something blew up, go away”. I would like to point out that I have never said that to either of my children. And we’ve come to an agreement that they can tell anyone they want about my writing…as long as it’s not anyone from church. Their teachers are okay. They want me to talk to their classes about writing and they love the books I write. I’m not going to lie. I was a little nervous about this secret identity breach. Things have been fine.
I’m not looking forward to the next security breach which will be girlfriends or wives. Please. I’m still too young for that…