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I really don’t know why this topic popped into my head, except to say that I was reminiscing with my daughter and it bought back a painful and embarrassing moment from years ago.

I’m about to share something that I haven’t shared with a lot of people. I’m a survivor. I know this because I was able to overcome the trauma of a multiple group rape that happened when I was fifteen years old. It’s not something I even think about now, except when this memory came up. Because of what had happened, I never dated until I was 19.

His name was Trevor, that first date, and baby, we’re talking hot. At the end of the night, he took me home and in the time-honoured tradition, kissed me good night. The kiss was hot. He was hot. But I freaked, because the poor man was excited and I could feel his erection brushing against me. Like a frightened virgin, I pushed him away and ran inside, never going out with him again because I was too embarrassed. Not my finest moment, but the memory of it got me thinking about kissing in all its forms.

We all kiss our children, our parents. We salute our friends with the kiss on the cheek. But what about the romantic kiss? That first brush of lips that has your heart galloping and your pulse pounding?

You’ve met this fantastic guy/girl who pushed every one of your buttons. He asks you out, takes you to dinner and then sees you home. Is that first kiss going to turn you off? Is it going to make you gag, or make you weak at the knees? Many a relationship has floundered at this point. We’ve all swapped spit with the bad kisser: the lizard or snake kisser who keeps flicking and hissing, the cannibal who wants to eat you alive, the washing machine with his round and round whiz of your mouth, the spelunker who wants to delve deep without considering whether you’re suffocating or not, and so many more.

How about Mr. Wet Vac Hoover?

This is like sucking frogs out of a drainpipe. He want to suck your tongue right out of your mouth and has no intention of letting you have it back. By the time he’s finished and you’ve got your tongue back, you’ve got slobber all over your mouth. And just how many of your fillings did he suck loose?

The Vampire or Woody Woodchuck Kisser.

Hey, a little nibble on the lower lip is fine, if fact it can be a hell of a turn on, but give it a break. It’s not some gourmet delicacy for you to suck and chew on. No way do I want to explain the next day why my lower lip is sporting a purple bruise.

The Speed Demon

His idea of a kiss is a prelude to getting to the main event. Overwhelm you with his kisses fast enough and he can get you into bed. Hard. Fast. No finesse at all. Yeah, guess who’s saying no to the next date offer?

The Tonsil Tickler

He’s going for gold. Tongue straight in, takes over your mouth, until you wonder what he’s done with your tongue. Hell, there isn’t room in your mouth for your tongue. He’s taken up residence. And the only thing this type of kiss induces is the gag reflex.

Unfortunately, not all kisses are equal. A good kiss starts slow, changes, is ever mobile. It makes you smile. It makes your hormones go on the rampage. And it’s something you remember long after the event.

So what was your first kiss and how did it make you feel?


Jamie Hill said...


I'm horrified to hear about what you went through, and happy you turned out as wonderful as you did!!!

My first kiss was in the public library after school, and there was not much to remember. I was about eleven. *G*

I remember much more vividly the kiss when I was a freshman in high school, going out with a nice but rather ugly fellow. When he kissed me he tasted like Doritos, and I've never liked them to this day. After the kiss, he said, "Can I feel you up?" LMAO! I just looked at him. He drove me home.

Buddy, if you have to ask, you ain't doing something right. The Doritos, for one. LOL


Ashley Ladd said...

My first kiss (not counting those in elementary school) was from a real hottie I met at a horse riding competition. I was 16 and he was 5 or 6 years older. What a kiss! I felt that kiss for days after. Too bad that was our only kiss, but I'll never forget it.

So sorry to hear about your bad experience.

LynTaylor said...

Geez Alexis! Don't know what to say but I'm glad you've been able to move forward from such a dreadful experience. *hugs*

Now, as for first kiss. I had my first kiss from a boy at 16. I was a shy kid so boys frightened me LOL! I'd had the hots for this guy for quite a while. Took a while, but I finally got his attention. Sadly he was a tonsil tickler come washing machine kinda kisser. All a bit disappointing really. Ick!

Lisabet Sarai said...

Alexis, thanks for being brave and sharing your teenage nightmare with us.

My first kiss - well, I initiated it. I must have been around 11. He was too shy, an old friend about whom I had fantasized for years. It was more sweet than sizzling, but that didn't keep me off Cloud Nine!