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Some Charming and Not So Charming Stuff

About Utterly Charming Stuff

Hello everyone…

I suppose, when I post, it would be pertinent to elucidate (oooh, big word) about erotica, but I felt like blogging something else. We’re all here because we generally agree it’s okay to read and publish this genre, so here’s a different subject altogether.

As the title of this blog insinuates, I’d like to pontificate (yeah, I learned me another even bigger word) on things I find charming…and wish there were more of.

For example:

Have you been to the movies lately? I’ve just watched some of the most pleasant cinemagraphic efforts; really they made me think and respond intellectually as well as emotionally.

If you haven’t watched it, Mrs. Palfrey at the Clairmont is a most wonderfully, clever story. It’s about an elderly woman who takes up life in a London residential hotel and is befriended by a young writer. The movie’s attraction lies in the fact that an elderly lady and someone several generations her junior can actually have a great deal in common. I won’t spoil this flick for those of you who haven’t seen it. For writers, this is a must-see!!!

Now, here’s another really charming movie you might want to watch… Miss Potter. This is supposedly the early life story of famed children’s author, Beatrix Potter. (Incidentally, she went on to be quite a conservationist.) If you get a chance to watch either/both the above movies − and I very much hope you do − perhaps you’ll understand about the charismatic quality of which I speak. There’re not a lot of high-cost special effects or gun-toting villains, but these movies speak to a higher side of human nature. Know what I mean?

I wasn’t a Jane Austen fan until I watched the latest version of Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley and Mathew MacFadyen. This is also quite engaging. I especially liked the scene where Mr. Darcy walks through the meadow at sunup…WOW! Play, rewind, play, rewind, etc. The sex in this story is there though the characters never really touch until the end; and even then the sex is only insinuated. No, I don’t have anything against ‘gettin’ jiggy with it’ ya’ll. But sometimes…just sometimes…I don’t think every single frickin’ thing has to be spelled out, punctuated and described in living color.

Some more charming stuff:

If you’re in the mood for something the kids will love (and for anyone who’s young at heart), try Fairytale: A True Story. This is a loose biographical movie about the children who were supposed to have taken pictures of fairies in Cottingley, Yorkshire. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle announced this amazing photographic wonder in The Strand magazine and later wrote a book entitled The Coming of the Fairies (proving his open-minded genius in the process). The movie makes you ask ‘what if’.

Even the movie Contact (with Jody Foster) had message that causes reflection. As Carl Sagan said, “If there’s no life out there…what a huge waste of space.” I find that statement simple and yet exceedingly profound.

And finally, here’s one more thing I found utterly charming.

These engineers were trying to be funny, but their video is actually quite insightful. They had to use their brains to make this up and I think it came out quite well. They deserve some kind of award, in my opinion. Take a look….some sentient beings being entertaining…..

An Engineer's Guide to Cats:

I guess the point of this blog was….we are more than our genitalia…we are capable of producing quite amusing, profound and wonderful works of art. We so often fail to live up to that potential. Lately it seems that everyone around me is sinking to the lowest common denominator (check the local papers to see what I’m talking about). When that happens to you (if it does sometimes happen), go find one of these more uplifting works. Shut the door, turn off the phone and just let the characters speak to you. Hell, go outside and look up at the night sky and ponder your absolute worth! We’re more than a bundle of nerve endings squirming in a Petri dish. We are humans…hear us roar! And THAT is utterly charming!!!Hell

Till next time,

Candace Sams (aka C.S. Chatterly)
Candace Sams (aka C.S. Chatterly)
~ Where Fantasies Embrace Legend ~

P.S. I don’t know why I’m throwing this in…it’s anything ‘but’ charming, but it ‘did’ piss me off.

I was posting on a loop recently and was referring to the need for erotica authors to sort of reel things in a bit when attending conferences. (Now, don’t come unglued before you hear me out…the reason for my opinion is as follows):

There was an incident at a large conference a couple of years back where some individual (a hotel guest) complained to the hotel staff/conference personnel about a gay promotional cover and its accompanying web address…that author ended up being censored – forced to pull her promotional information from the conference’s promotional alley (where all authors of all genres display their promo items).

Now….no official representing the conference or from any erotica publishing firm; no erotica authors or their ilk ‘seems’ to have defended this woman while she was at the conference…she ‘still’ had to pull her promo items (and only hers it seems) so they wouldn’t offend any ‘other’ hotel guests. All this led me to make the suggestion that these same conference staffers might consider putting the authors’ promotional paraphernalia in a separate room, where hotel guests, their children and any insecure individuals wouldn’t have to look at the erotica book covers, etc., as they walk by. Granted, I believe in rights to display your book covers….I don’t agree with someone’s kid seeing them if they aren’t appropriate for a child to view. I will defend to the death, your right to write, read whatever you please…but I have to draw the line at forcing my work on someone who dislikes it or on any child! Remember folks, the way to garner respect is to act like you deserve it; consider others around you, be professional and you might… just might, mind you….get them to at lease listen to your view. No one ever got anywhere by trying to cram something down some else’s throat. You can’t force people to like a subject that, for whatever reason, is repugnant to them. It’s the old carrots vs. sticks theory….

But if you act professional, the most any naysayers can articulate is that they don’t like what you write! See?

At any rate, the next of these conferences is to be held in Orlando, FL, next year (some of you already know the one I’m talking about).

Now, regardless of your stance on where to put the promo items, I had to point out to some folks on a group loop that there could be legal repercussions for displaying items in a place that could garner even more trouble from hotel guests, visitors, etc. This conference will be held in a Florida hotel, at about the same time spring break will be celebrated in that state/area. There’re bound to be kids around. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want any kid looking at my promo items. Even my paranormal novels, written as Candace Sams, are geared to those at least fifteen and up – and there’s no erotica at all in those titles. Besides all this, those hotel guests that take away all the items promo items probably don’t intend to buy any of the books; they just want the freebies. My promo stuff at any conference is for the readers who attend the conference, not the lookey-loos who wander about looking for stuff to later throw away.

At any rate…my idea to house the promo items in a ‘separate’ room got shot down. Conference personnel insist that everyone who brings erotica to the conference must make their promo material PG 13 (and what is that if not censoring) and, of course, they ‘know’ this new set of rules will still offend no one! Yeah, right…and what exactly is PG 13? What it is to you may not be appropriate for someone else or their kid to see while walking about on a vacation, in a swank hotel near Disney World. But I digress…….

I spoke with a local police Sergeant in the conference area and he assures me that they ‘can’ act on complaints from hotel guests. He also told me there could be civil litigation; the hotel could be held responsible as well as the author about whom any complaints may be lodged. When I mentioned this on the group loop, the police were referred to as ‘Gestapo-like’. And this is where I got angry and why I’m writing all this.

I’m sure the party who used this term was trying to be witty… some sad, sad way (I don’t know that she’s old enough to know what that organization was about, but isn’t it ‘convenient’ to throw a nasty term around in reference to an entire group of individuals. Especially if you’d like to make ‘your’ point)? I guess she wouldn’t mind if people say she writes ‘filthy pornography’ instead of erotica?

I can assure you – in the most ardent terms I know without using any nasty adverbs – that I don’t appreciate even the remote insinuation that any police agency is ‘Gestapo-like’. And if the party who said that is reading this blog and doesn’t like my having mentioned what she said….go call a cop!

Please look at the very last line of my signature addresses (above). I’m sure the person using this rather hateful, Nazi terminology didn’t actually mean to include me in that group; and that’s the bad part about labeling people. She doesn’t know anything about me nor does she know anything about my life, but feels perfectly free to toss about that kind of moniker…carelessly!!! I put up with it on the loop; I said nothing. I suspect that had I referred to her as an ‘insidious peddler of filth’ she’d go thermo-nuclear. But that’s the nature of people who call others names or even remotely reference such hateful terminology to embody an entire group. And in using the term…she called ‘me’ ‘Gestapo-like’. What else am I to infer? I was a cop for many, many years. My only reason for mentioning that the police ‘could’ be called in if a hotel guest complained about promotional items was to mitigate a possible legal or civil situation. I see no harm at all in at least considering putting promo items in a separate room where kids can’t view it.

Having said this, are all cops good? NO! I worked with some who never should have been hired into that occupation. Are they all bad? NO! Not any more than all erotica authors are distributors of sick porn! See, it works both ways…you want to throw a name; you should be prepared to catch one back. However the woman meant the term when she used it….it’s not funny, cute or remotely appropriate to inflict that shadow on any group of individuals unless they ‘are’ members of that organization or ‘were’. Some cops are Jewish…they wouldn’t take it kindly. I can assure you, they wouldn’t remotely like having the term associated with them at all. So…don’t like my former profession; that’s okay. Not all folks like what I do even now. Call me anything you want…but for the love of Christ almighty, please don’t remotely- for any reason whatsoever- call me or any of the good cops I worked with as ‘Gestapo-like’. Please, for the love of Mary and all that’s Holy, don’t think we have anything to do with Nazis. These aren’t terms any one should use so blithely. I have to assume she meant it in the harshest way; why would anyone even say such a thing about a group of individuals (referencing ‘another’ group who murdered randomly) unless she meant it? It’s not like calling the cops ‘the fuzz’ or ‘the heat’ or ‘pigs’ or even ‘morons’. Hell, I’ve been called things I can’t spell and that’s the truth. But she indiscriminately referred to people she didn’t know - and have never met - as savages! Butchers of the worst sort! She pulled out a term that, to me, is hideously intolerable. And that responsibility lies with her. Ironically, people who do things like this are usually the most likely to whine like two-year-olds for police protection when they need it; spitting on the police after having done so.

I’m a firm believer in other justice in this world. By that, I mean that what goes around comes around. Pagans and Wiccans believe that even mentioning that you wish for a bad thing to happen is to give that dreadful thought credence, strength and life. I can only guess at the results from labeling some unknown men and women as ‘Gestapo-like’ (however cute she thought she was being). I can only wonder at the results of so carelessly using that term and, in so doing, diminishing the real horror cause by actual Nazis. If this woman thinks the Orlando police are or remotely could be ‘Gestapo-like’, I pray to God she never really meets any group who are of that ilk. I wouldn’t wish that horror on anyone.

Call me any damned thing you want….please don’t ever remotely refer to me or my behavior as a cop as Gestapo-like! To so blithely throw that term around, as I stated, is to minimize the absolute horror that millions of people suffered at the hands of the Gestapo and their minions. And it defines me and other good cops as sub-human. No one has to like the law enforcement profession, but 99% of them are there to help; they believe in what they do. They wouldn’t show up at a hotel to confiscate promo items unless some ‘citizen’ made a complaint. They have to act when called; they have no choice; that’s what they get paid to do. And yeah, they even defend women who like to call them names! And all this came about because I dared to ‘suggest’ that the promo alley be put in a separate room where kids couldn’t be inflicted with erotica promotional goods.

Okay…I’m done bitchin!!!! I’ll try not to ever get this volatile again …email me if you’d like to…you can go to my website to get my email address….


Lyn Cash said...

All I can add is a sad nod and a hug. I'm sure she didn't mean it as anything but cute/funny and that she had no idea how it sounded to you, but...she did, it did, and...I imagine things will go on as planned. I'm not putting anything out, though, not without a brown paper wrapper or some such thing - LOL. I was there when Laura's stuff got pulled, promo items she'd paid dearly for, and they were NOT offensive except to some prude guest who shouldn't have been allowed to view our stuff to begin with.

The room for our promo stuff would have been dealt with easily and quickly through RWA, say what you will about RWA. I don't see the problem in securing a goody room for just those who pay for the conference. THAT is what surprised me the most, the uproar that we couldn't get one.

Oh, well - hang in there.

And I agree on your movies listed. *grin* Loved 'em - also loved "P.S. I Love You" as a feel-good movie.

Hugs, C'...

Candace Sams said...

Thanks, Lyn....I appreciate your comment very kindly. I guess I'm still in rant mode...but I have to wonder at the absolute, callous selfishiness of an erotica author who would force her material on others who might not want it, pissing off more than she'd ever sell to just to make that one sale. This same person rants on about others who degrade the erotia author profession and her current publisher...but she cares nothing about giving those same beraters plenty of ammunition to fire back.

You have to ask yourself, what would I do to sell one of my eroticas? Her answer is to shove them in the faces of folks (even at PG13 rating that is arguable)who are trying to enjoy their time at a hotel where they probably don't want to be inflicted with her work. And that's how one 'convinces' others of there professionalism? I guess disturbing a kid and that child's parents are all in a day's long as she makes that buck! (and what kind of author wants to even take a remote chance on hurting a child...and yes, putting some things in front of them hurt really does!)

Sorry...but I'm really saddened by the depths human beings will sink to, (some authors particularly) to hawk their work...maintaining their rights to do so without so much as even considering who might be walking by and be offended....yeah...this is how one goes about making friends and influencing very professional.

'Nuff said....

Good day to you,Lyn...and please pass on to that author - whose work was pulled - my support, for whatever its worth...someone from the conference staff should have defended her; but the entire ordeal she suffered wouldn't have been an issue if some tight-wad from that particular group would have just booked a separate promo room...then censoring wouldn't be such an issue to begin with...

Ciao, lady!!!!

Lyn Cash said...

Well, I figure God'll give me another book - and great as I may think one is, it's not worth offending anyone or having karma come back to bite me on the ass - lol - which it ALWAYS does. :)

I have KF on speed dial and have thought about just calling her, but she'll only send me to Carol - lol - but...I feel an email to Carol w/RT about it. We really do need just that one room so we can avoid things like people taking more than they should (several trips through the goody room or aisle) and promo materials that shouldn't be picked up, much less seen, by outsiders from the RT conference. I'll let you know if I hear anything. I figure something like a note to Carol will be better than grouching about it on the loops. I may be wrong, but it's worth a shot. Maybe if enough of us state the case, RT will provide that one room.

Candace Sams said...

Hi Lyn,

I think I'm pretty much just going to skip that conference anyhow....between the silliness of two indidividuals caterwalling back and forth (in the process getting themselves all kinds of notice which is really what they wanted anyhow) and RTs insistence that no one will 'ever' be offended by anything done at RT (belying the fighting going on right now between the above nameless individuals)...I don't seen why any professional would want to show up there any longer. I 'would' like to show support for some of my pubs, meet some folks...but it's just not worth the infantile name calling and broomflying going back and forth.

Oddly enough the publishers involved love all the backstabbing...there doesn't seem to be any concern on their part about how unprofessional all this is making them look and that's not a good thing.

I did email jo carol, however...I had concerns over making promo material pg 13, insinuating that the books they represent will be the's deceptive and, frankly, a lie.

Between one side, crying like a titty-baby about how somebody done her wrong when she defended her publilsher (who should have stood up for themselves) and the other side ranting and wailing on maniacally about the evils of the erotica industry - and RT itself not caring how idiotic their conventions are beginning to look - I don't know if any of that is worth even being connected with...I can shoot myself in the foot...I don't need unprofessional, infantile assholes doing it for me ....if I want to go to a circus and watch the clowns, I don't need to spend thousand to do it; I'll stay home and visit the county fair...maybe the folks at RT will pull up their brastraps and become responsible business people someday...when/if they do; some of us might come back....

Okay.... I'm done....

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