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Parenting, sex and knowing smirks

When I was studying psychology, I was taught that babies have no sense of self until they're around 6 or 7 months old. Moreover, as the main source of light, food and touch, they crave the proximity of a parent. So, when I gave birth, it made absolutely no sense to me to stick a such a human being in a separate room, away from the sounds and sensations of surrounding life that s/he was used to while in the womb and, later, while in our arms. Luckily, my husband agreed with my philosophy and our children co-slept in our bedroom for several years.

Which inevitably brings me to the topic of sex. It's well nigh impossible to have sex while you have your offspring gently snoring away in a bed or crib a few feet away. So what J and I did was sneak away to different parts of the house. A lot of times, we'd "set up" the room with comfy cushions and blankets beforehand. While I breastfed, J would complete the setting with a selection of scented candles or whatever else took his fancy. When I entered the room, it would be like a scene transformed, dim and perfumed, with an eagerly awaiting husband.

But it didn't stop there. The next morning, we would catch each other's gazes over the breakfast table and give a knowing smirk as we glanced at a sofa, a bench, a patch of smooth floor, or a particular wall. To my mind, marriage is all about those knowing smirks. Make sure you build up your own store of them in your own relationship. ;)

KS "Kaz" Augustin
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Caffey said...

Morning KS! Oh I do remember then when they were young, and when they weren't when had to sneak off someplace just to get that time alone and those memories stay with you a long time, some of them forever!

Sam said...

So true!!
My babies slept with us for the first 18 mos of their lives, and we did the room shuffle as well (with many a knowing leer).