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4.9.08

How to have sex in an office elevator

Noodling helpful hints on a number of sexual activities. If one of your fantasies has always been to have sex in an office elevator, look n o further for helpful tips and hints.

Whenever you’re hired into a new job, Human Resources usually gives you a nifty little handbook that serves as a guide on how to get ahead in your new office. I don’t think having an office is affair is one of them, since most companies frown on interoffice sex. Bur if the man in the office next to you turns you on, makes your panties wet and your nipples hard, and you just have to give into the urge, you might try the elevator. Having sex in the office elevator is one way you can give in to your urges in about the amount of time it takes you to finish your coffee break.
Here’s what you’ll need: an empty office elevator and tissues or moist wipes.

Step1
First thing, if you can wipe down the walls, handrails and floor of the elevator. Of course, sex in office elevators often happens on the spur of the moment, meaning you might not always have a stash of moist wipes or tissues with you. However, if you do, taking a quick minute to wipe any surfaces you may be touching will go a long way toward making your this a more sanitary experience.

Step2
Hit the "stop" button. Unless you're planning to be extraordinarily quick--and confident you can actually pull it off--you don't want to risk the doors opening on the seventh floor to find your boss waiting there. Or worse yet, a staring group of clients.

Step3
Remain partially clothed. There's no reason to get completely naked in an office elevator. This is a really fast activity and you don't want to draw it out by having to put all your clothes back on afterward. Besides, how do you explain the wrinkles in your business suit from lying there on the elevator floor.

Step4
Work with the handrail, not against it. Sure, it's uncomfortable to be pushed up against the elevator wall, only to find a cold metal rail pressing on your spine. Instead, use the handrail as a perch to sit on or as a way to get your leg raised to a strategic level.

Step5
Leave no trace of your activities when you leave the elevator. This means picking up everything that may have made its way onto the floor, such as underwear, jewelry and used condoms (although one hopes your partner will be courteous enough to take care of that little chore himself. If the elevator has mirrored walls, rub off any markings you might have left (use your clothes, if need be). And no leaving lip marks!!!!

Warning!!!!!!!!!!
If you're planning to have sex in the office elevator, be sure you're physically able to do so. There isn't much room to lie down in an elevator, and you probably wouldn't want to do that anyway. That means sex is going to happen standing up and that normally requires some physical agility.
So the next time the hunk who gets you hot enough to explode says, “Got a minute?” Now you know what you can do with it.

6 comments:

Lisabet Sarai said...

I'm in stitches! "Work with the handrail, not against it." Quite so!

What I want to know is, where did you get this expertise?

Thanks for sharing your wisdom. I've had sexual encounters in some wild places, but not (surprisingly...) an elevator.

goooooood girl said...

So good......

Molly Daniels said...

I laughed when I saw that too, Lisabet:)

Great post, Judith!

Judith Rochelle said...

My alpha dh and I were just talking about stuff like this the other day and I was running ideas for the blog past him. But my lips are sealed. Is it real? or juist in my wild, ild imagination!!!!!

Best Sex Guide said...

Sounds like fun, but now to talk someone else into it! LOL

Crissy said...

What a great blog!