Honesty and Courage
This month I’m promoting my Christmas Spirits release, Tomorrow’s Gifts. It’s my first full length M/M romance effort, and to be frank, I’m pretty pleased with it.
Michael loves his burly, powerful partner Neil. They’ve been together for three years, and Michael still finds Neil devastatingly sexy, but he’s not completely satisfied. Secretly, he dreams of submission and surrender, but he’s scared to share his fantasies with his lover. Frustrated and confused, he wonders whether he and Neil really belong together.
Then, on Christmas Eve, Michael receives a visit from a sexy Dom, Thorne Wilder, who claims to be his lover from the future. Thorne shows Michael scenes from a wild life of sexual excess that he claims they'll share if he breaks up with Neil.
As Thorne pulls Michael deeper and deeper into the BDSM scene, Michael wonders: should he trust the ghost of Christmas future, or does his true future lie with Neil?
Now of course I think everyone who’s reading this post should buy the book, if you have any leanings toward M/M and/or BDSM romance. I could try and persuade you by telling you how sizzling the sex scenes are, or how turned on you’ll be by the interactions between Michael and Neil. But actually, I’d rather talk about one of the story’s strong themes which, I feel, makes the story moving and true – the importance of being honest and open with your beloved.
Everyone has secret desires and fantasies. Often, we’re embarrassed by them, afraid to expose ourselves to criticism or ridicule, worried that we’ll be labeled as sluts or perverts—even by our significant others. We’re concerned that our partners will think there’s something wrong with them, that for some reason they don’t satisfy us and that this is why we fantasize about threesomes or bondage or gang bangs or water sports. We don’t want to risk hurting our partners’ feelings, or so we tell ourselves. Better to just keep it all inside, nurture our cravings privately and keep the relationship on an even keel.
My personal belief, though, is that this type of decision cuts us off from our lovers. We build our own barriers, hiding our supposedly shameful desires. These barriers can’t help but interfere with communication. We feel self-conscious and guilty—why can’t we just be happy with a hot vanilla relationship? Even when we tell ourselves we’re keeping silent out of love, that silence does violence to intimacy.
Being honest, especially about sexual desires, takes courage. You have to be willing to take the risk. There’s always some possibility that your partner really will be shocked or hurt. A more likely outcome is that he or she will be sympathetic, but perhaps uninterested in participating in your favored kinks. On the other hand, you might just discover your lover has his own complementary fantasies which he has been hiding away, worried about your reactions.
You will never know until you reach out and share your dirty dreams. As Michael, finally, realizes that he has to do with Neil.
Here’s a brief excerpt, just to give you a feeling for the chemistry. The book will be released on December 8th.
“So, Michael. Have you been a good little boy?” Neil loomed over me, one hand against the wall on either side of my head. “Do you deserve the goodies that Santa’s brought for you?” Leaning forward, he trailed a wet tongue up my neck, from my open collar to just below my earlobe. When I squirmed in response, he flattened his pelvis against the lump growing in my jeans and fastened his mouth on mine. The fake beard got in the way. He ripped it off and resumed kissing me, while his hands slipped around me to cup my ass.
I loved the way Neil kissed with his full body, investing his entire being in the process. I snuggled against his red felt jacket, allowing him to take possession of my mouth. His kisses were deep, wet, full of soul. They made me light-headed. They made me hard. I could taste the beer he had drunk at the party and the peppermint candy cane that we’d shared on the way home, but underneath there was the familiar flavour of Neil, my housemate, friend and lover.
I forced my hand between our bodies and fumbled at his zipper. “Oh, are you being a naughty little boy?” he breathed in my ear. “Santa will have to punish you.”
His words thrilled me. Oh, if only he would make good on his threats! I knew from experience that he was only teasing, though. But maybe tonight would be different. With the holiday high, the post-party buzz, maybe tonight he’d give me what I craved.
I wrenched his fly open and wriggled through the opening in his briefs until I had what I wanted—the silky sensation of his cock-skin under my fingers. My own cock throbbed as I stroked him, marvelling at the contrast between the rock-hard flesh underneath and the satin-smooth layer that enclosed it.
I wanted to sink to my knees and suck him, right there in the hallway. I wanted him to fuck my mouth until I gagged then drown me in his cum. Instead, he extricated my hand from his trousers and squeezed it affectionately. “Let’s go to bed, baby. Let’s get naked.”