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I didn't write these, but I did chuckle at them. Thought we could use a smile for the day. Have a good one! ~ Jenna

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

2. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

3. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

4. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

5. I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are just missing.

6. Some gene pools could use a little chlorine.

7. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

8. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

9. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.

10. Procrastinate Now!

11. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

12. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

13. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

14. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

15. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

16. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

17. Ham and eggs, a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

18. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

19. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

20. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.


Genella deGrey said...

I love this, Jenna - but I have to tell you - I wrote # 13! I even have witnesses.

:D :D :D

Lisabet Sarai said...

Grin! I like the hangover line!