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7.7.11

What's the Appeal of Submissiveness?




Recently a friend asked me what I got out of being submissive.

First I had to remind him that I wasn’t totally submissive – just in certain instances. Nonetheless, his question was a fair one. For a lot of people, the BDSM lifestyle is one tiny step away from abuse – and may, in fact, cross that line. Luckily, this happens rarely. Abuse has no place in any sexual relationship, including BDSM. However, according to an article in Psychology Today, one in ten people are into some type of S & M activity. In truth, more and more “kinky” activities are becoming mainstreamed. Honestly now – show of hands – how many of you enjoy receiving or giving a nice spanking every now and again? Wearing a blindfold? Having your arms or hands held or tied down? You hair pulled while engaged in a mind blowing kiss?

Engaging in sexually submissive behavior, for me anyway, is freeing. I am free of all

responsibility save two – pleasing my partner and letting him know if I am not enjoying something. For many adults with innumerable responsibilities, this is liberating. I can let go of being a breadwinner, a mother, a housekeeper, a cook, a writer, a caretaker. I simply become a sexual being whose some responsibility is pleasure. For me, and for my characters, this is not humiliating or degrading in any manner, quite

the opposite. Submission is a gift I sometimes choose to give to a trusted partner.

1 comment:

Amy Valenti said...

Lovely post! I agree that you have to be careful of people's preconceptions, but yes - to me submission is a gift to give, just as dominance is.

I wish people were more open-minded when it comes to the pain side of things. :/