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Antici ... pation

Let me tell you a story. 

It's the mid-nineteen-eighties. I don't remember the year, or the exact date. I am sitting in my best friend's living room, legs drawn up on her parents' old sofa with two other girls from school around us. We're totally keyed-up – the way teenage girls will be when they're looking forward to something. 

We're gathered in front of a tiny TV set to watch … wait for it … The Rocky Horror Picture Show! One of us, I don't remember who, has heard that it's good. A musical. We like musicals. We've been looking forward to this for quite a while. I don't know how she did it, but my friend managed to convince her parents that it's educational. Come to think of it, it probably is educational. Maybe just not in the traditional sense of the word.

I don't know when or how exactly it happens. One moment I am giggling with the other girls, watching a room full of weirdos doing the time warp and the next I am struck by lightning.

I am watching Tim Curry strut around the room in a corset, a garter-belt with fishnet stockings and a pair of impossibly high sparkling platform heels. He is pushing his hips out, singing "I'm just a sweet transvestite…" and it's a total revelation. I don't have a word for this yet but it's exactly what I need.

I have fallen in love with Tim Curry's kinky outfit, his make-up, hell, I have fallen in love with his mouth! I cherish his every word. And that's when he does it. The music has stopped and he is speaking the lyrics now, with pauses for dramatic effect. He looks straight at me and says:

"I see you shiver with antici...

I shiver, I hardly dare to breathe (neither do Brad and Janet, but at that moment I couldn't care less about the two dorks). I wait, breathlessly, for the second half of the word. And then it comes:

… pation!" And I can breathe again, move again. The world has stopped but now it's turning again.

This is what I am talking about.

Anticipation is the hand that brushes the inside of my thigh. It's the tiny breath that touches my mouth just before I feel his lips on mine. It's the shivering sensation just before ... It's a moment of utter bliss and utter desperation as you are waiting for the fulfillment of a promise.

What does anticipation mean to you? Leave a comment! I'd love to hear from you.

Want more? You can catch me at my blog A DARK KIND OF DESIRE. And I am apparently taking over this spot from Gillian Archer. So, see you around here next month!

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