On August 10th I lost my beautiful mother. She'd been battling a life threatening illness for a long time and I thought I'd prepared myself for losing her, but there's no such preparation. My mind is consumed with thoughts and memories of her.
I find myself speaking out loud to her as I work through my grief and allow myself to feeling every emotion.
When I close my eyes, I can see her gentle smile. When I lay my head on my pillow, I can almost feel her hand on my head and hear her soft voice. I miss her. I'll always miss her. If only I could hear her laugh or words of encouragement one more time.
My mother was my biggest supporter. She always encouraged me to write. She wasn't thrilled that I was drawn to reading and writing erotic romance, but she always wanted me to express myself and explore the things in my life that made me happy. I know she was proud of me and all of my writing accomplishments. She'd want me to keep writing. Knowing that, gives me strength to type these words.
A mother's love, for most of us, is our first experience of being adored. I learned tenderness, compassion and all the components of the "L" word from my mom. She was a diehard romantic, falling in love with my dad in high school. He stole her heart and she loved him even after they were divorced. Her quiet strength and determination to face life's hardships and heartaches with grace and understanding has and will continue to shape the woman that I am.
Her love for me and the love she showed other's in her life will forever inspire me to love and to live life to the fullest. She's given me a legacy of love I'll cherish and hopefully pass on to my own children.
Thanks, mom, I love you...