I’ll be blunt about it. I write erotica, some might call at least parts of my work pornographic (and not without reason) By its very nature erotica gives the impression of closeness, even sexual intimacy, between writer and reader. After all, I have these ideas in my head, I write them down and the reader reads them.
But to me writing about sex means simply writing about sex. At no moment during the writing process, I think about what I would do or wouldn’t do. I find my personal preferences utterly irrelevant as far as the sexual activities of my characters are concerned.
When I write about how Owen accepts the invitation of happy couple Sebastian and Davin in Three, or how Isaac learns to face his enjoyment in being the Dominant to his lover Tom’s submissiveness in the Calling the shots series I’m not there. It’s about them, their choices and fantasies and experiences. I use the language that feels natural for them within the boundaries of the story, regardless if in reality it might make me blush like a genuine virgin. The distance between the story and myself as a private person is as absolute as possible, but so is the honesty. I’d rather squirm in embarrassment when I realise what I’ve actually written, than use euphemisms for the wrong reasons.
And yet, I am there. Not in the sexual outspokenness of the genre, but in the almost subconscious returning of one theme, namely that of the committed relationship. I don’t choose it; it chooses me, so to say.
One of the big themes of romantic (with or without explicit sex) fiction is that of two people falling in love and the obstacles they meet on their way to the happy end. But for me that’s when it gets interesting.
I’m more curious about what happens after the heroes of the story have decided that yes, they are meant to be together. I want to know how Steve and Daniël in Ravages deal with the consequences of life-changing violence as a couple, how Isaac and Tom in Calling the shots integrate D/s in their relationship while being and remaining equal partners.
And that’s perhaps more telling about me than any amount of explicitly written sex, kinky or not.
Ravages (written as R.A.Padmos) published by Manifold Press http://www.manifoldpress.co.uk/2011/08/ravages/
Three (written as S. Dora) published by Total E-Bound
The first part of Calling the shots, Facing the truth, will be published in March, also by Total E-Bound