The above is the response my husband made after being asked yet another weird question in the name of literary research. He should be used to it by now, living with a writer. The combination of a strong imagination and a constant need to get it down on paper means I am always trying to fit my mental weirdery into reality and, let’s face it, he’s usually the nearest person around.
Last night’s question was “How does a ghost come out of a bathroom mirror?” Straightforward, you might think, except that this mirror is above a sink, and I can’t have a ghost floating out romantically and landing in the sink. So would it walk through the wall? Hook one leg out like someone climbing over a fence? Slide out horizontally? That was my husband’s suggestion, and I can’t say I was that enamoured. It conjured up the image of the checkout on Supermarket Sweep.
Another time I asked him what would happen if someone squeezed a full beer can in their state of lust. Gave him an excuse to drink a beer, I suppose. He swore up and down that very little would happen, but filled the can with water and stood in the shower to squeeze it. Just as well, because the result was rather like that Youtube video of Coke bottles and Mentos.
The one that really got him was “Can you use a spear to pin someone to a tree?” I’ll leave the context of that one to your imagination, but we ultimately agreed that if it was close up one would use a pike, not a spear. Spears are thrown, and therefore are probably not reliable enough to pin people to trees. I’ll remember that next time I’m confronted by a caveman.
So what kind of mind does think of these things? Mine, apparently, and I quite enjoy living in it, even if my husband finds it an endless source of bemused fascination. I can’t be alone in this, can I??