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What squicks you out?

I've always had my nose stuck in books. There's a sequence of photos that my Dad took many, many years ago, when my sister and I were both kids. The first picture is of Yours Truly avidly reading a comic book, the next one is of my bratty little sister (she's not a brat any more) trying to take said comic book, and the photos continue. But, in any event, it's photographic evidence that I was most likely born a book worm.

I stumbled onto romances back in the 1970s. (I tell you, I'm old). Back then, the shelves of the romance section in the book store was crammed with big, thick paperbacks by Katherine Woodiwiss, Rosemary Rogers, etc. etc. I devoured them and discovered that I loved romances with naughty bits in them. This brings me to today's burning question.

What grosses you out, as a reader, when you're reading a sex scene?  My personal pet peeve is an excess of feminine 'juices', whether they glisten on the hero's chin, or soak the bedclothes.  Really? Methinks someone needs to get her lady bits checked!

So, gentle reader, tell me what your personal quibbles are when it comes to reading the Naughty Bits?

Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.


Anonymous said...

I'm utterly grossed out by anal play or sex which is anything less than pristine-clean. Even the most passing reference to bodily functions, and I'm out of there!

Erin Lark said...

Any odd reference to lady bit or male parts being a deep channel, a hard pole or something similar. I guess it isn't that it squicks me out as just pushes me out of the story.

After writing erotica for so long, not much bothers me. That said, anytime an author writes about a character in chains for a dangerously long period of time or having nipple clamps on for hours on end tends to ruin it for me completely. I might just be an accuracy nut though :)

Cyndy Aleo said...

"ropes of cum"

I was just talking to a friend about this. Seriously, people. We aren't rigging sails here with it.

Referring to lady juices as "cream."

If there is cream there is an infection. Hie thee to a doctor.

Ridiculous purple prose.

You know what I mean. I just read something the other day that referred to a gentleman handling his partner's bits "like marbles made of gold." SERIOUSLY?

Not knowing your anatomy.

If I have to start Googling actual anatomical drawings to make sure I'm correct about how far off the mark you are about your rimjob not actually being able to hit a prostate, odds are I'm going to be squicked by having to look at diagrams of innards.

Descriptions of dried secretions.

No one finds this hot. No one. Ever.

Menages involving relatives.

I can't believe this has to be said, but apparently it does. I don't care what kind of disclaimers you put on it; if you and your sibling/cousin/uncle/father are double-teaming a woman, there is a VERY THIN MEMBRANE separating the two of you. Stop it.

Clovia said...

I nether-wince every time something "stabs" between or into anything, or a tongue's motion is "sharp", etc. The sensory images conjured by the wrong word choices throughout a scene--Kegel cramp just waiting to happen.

Rebecca said...

Probably because I used to read a lot of bad fanfic when I was younger, but I cannot count how many times someone's member 'popped through her womb'.

Gah. Get that author an anatomy lesson. Stat.