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Procrastinating (includes Eurovision Song Contest recap)

So, you haven't heard from me in a while. I've been busy writing. In fact, I should be writing right now. But, as it's Eurovision Song Contest night, I just can't help it. It's so camp, I need to watch. There's something fascinating about all of these people in strange costumes singing weird pop songs.
Also, Sweden is a very charming host country, I think. Why? Because they make fun of themselves. And they're lovely liberal people. The hostess just did a funny little number called the Swedish Smorgasbord in which she sang the word "titties" and performed a gay marriage - among other things - both unthinkable for last year's host country. So, go Sweden!

As I'm writing this, while waiting for the results, here's my personal recap:

1 France - good song, impressive voice, but unfortunately no chance of winning
2 Lithuania - cute guy, boring song
3 Moldova - candidate for the longest dress award, forgettable song
4 Finland - didn't like the song but yay for the lesbian kissing at the end

(c) Mirror, UK
5 Spain - barefoot performance, forgettable song
6 Belgium - I think this boy has a fantastic voice, unfortunately they overproduced the song
7 Estonia - she can sing, but the song didn't convince me
8 Belarus - shortest dress in the run, so she has a chance of winning, I guess
9 Malta - cute little song, but the permanent grin kind of creeped my out
10 Russia - great voice, boring song
11 Germany - sounded way too much like last year's winner
12 Armenia - Hey, can I buy you a coffee? Oh, you're here to sing? Never mind that.
13 Netherlands - beautiful, sad song, lovely performance, too bad she doesn't have a chance of winning
14 Romania - the original Dracula counter tenor from Transsylvania, weirdest performance on the show, points for that
15 UK - Bonnie Tyler's back with a really good song, wouldn't mind if she wins, but I don't think she will
16 Sweden - if Bonnie's too old, he's definitely too young and wearing too much make up
17 Hungary - really cute hipsters, and the song's sweet, even if I didn't understand a word of it, like
18 Denmark - cute girl, catchy song, she'll probably win
19 Iceland - what's with the hair? is that grease or hairspray? can't remember the song
20 Azerbaijan - good song, brilliant show, I liked the gay undertones, but the red dress lady was superfluous
21 Greece - fun ska punk folk number, like
22 Ucraine - hated the freak show (boo for displaying a person with acromegaly who had trouble walking at all on stage!)
23 Italy - nice singing, but that suit is too tight
24 Norway - ... as is this lady's dress
25 Georgia - getting bored
26 Ireland - what's with the drums?

So, if you ask me, I'd say Denmark will win. Or maybe Azerbaijan again. Wouldn't that be weird.

Please keep in mind, that I didn't know who won yet when I wrote this. You can totally make fun of my abilities to predict the winner when you read this tomorrow. Or book me as an expert for next year's contest in Denmark - whichever.

I'll be back next month (hopefully). In the mean time: join me and six fantastic fellow authors including TEB authors Sara York and Suz DeMello on Facebook on our brand new Hot Writer's page.


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