To celebrate, I shall share a steamy excerpt from this M/M contemporary romance about an older ER doctor with movie star looks, and a younger paramedic who has the doc on his radar. But there are always secrets, and Terrence the paramedic has a doozy - he belongs to a sex club, and isn't sure how his more conservative crush will feel about that. Here's a scene from one of their first dates - a get-together at the doctor's place when Terrence decides to come clean:
"... Enough about me. What was it you wanted to say to me?”
The look on Terrence’s face made Jackson’s stomach flutter a little, but not in a good way. He had that slight dread feeling that he might not like what he was about to hear.
Terrence let out a long sigh. “Yeah. So here’s the thing. I like you a lot. But since the thing with Cory, I haven’t wanted to get into any sort of one-on-one thing either. But I’m a big horn dog—really big horn dog.”
Jackson’s heart sank. “Are you saying that all you’re interested in is a sex thing?”
Terrence shook his head vehemently. “Oh, man, I knew I would fuck this up. Let me tell you everything first.”
“Of course, go ahead.”
“What I’m saying is that’s how I felt before, the way you have.” He chuckled a little. “I’m not saying I’m not horny as hell still, but I’m looking at my choices and behaviours, and rethinking what I want in life. And what I want now is something real, not just a playtime fuck. Which brings me to that club I was telling you about.”
“Oh?” Jackson had a bad feeling about where all of this was going.
“Yeah. You see, there’s this place in Phoenix called Sinsation”—Terrence shifted in his seat—“and it’s a, you know, uh, a sex club.” Terrence winced, and paused.
The place Dakota mentioned?
“Wow.” Jackson hadn’t been prepared to hear that, but he was trying to keep an open mind. “So… What exactly happens at this sex club?” His mind latched onto hundreds of different scenarios—none of them good.
“It’s primarily a gay hangout. And on the gay nights, I go there and drink, dance to some music, hang out with some friends I’ve made there…”
Jackson felt some relief. That wasn’t so bad. “That’s nothing. Why shouldn’t you go out and enjoy yourself? It’s not as if you’ve been with anyone.”
“Well, there’s more. Much more.”
Jackson had that sinking feeling again.
“Look, Doc, I don’t want you to think badly of me. But I think it’s important that I let it all hang out. I don’t want it to come back and bite me in the ass down the road, you dig?”
Terrence was trying to be honest, and that said something.
“I understand. You’re right. Go on.”
“Okay, so this is the thing. There’s this one guy named Marcus who has been—and I emphasise has been—my main fuck-buddy there.”
Jackson tried not to show any reaction to what Terrence was saying.
“And there is this downstairs area that you have to be a member of, or you can pay for a one-time visit… Well, anyway, that’s where everyone goes to get it on.”
“Get it on?”
“All right, I won’t sugar-coat it. Everyone fucks whoever they want. There are themed rooms and other…amenities such as a BDSM section. You can go there and hook up with whoever, and do whatever.”
It’s the ‘whatever’ that has me concerned.
“And this is safe?”
“That’s just it, Doc. That’s what attracted me to it. After the whole Cory thing, I was scared to go out with strangers. Everyone gets tested there regularly, we all use condoms, and there are bouncers to make sure nothing gets out of hand. Yes. I felt safe there.”
“And now how do you feel about it?”
Terrence buried his face in his hands, shaking his head. He looked back up at Jackson.
“It served a purpose for me, and I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t have a good time—a great time even. But I have different priorities now, and I really want to let go of that lifestyle, and get with one man that I can share my life with. I learned my lesson with Cory. Having an open relationship doesn’t work. But I’m done with all of that now. I swear.”
Jackson didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t picture himself in a million years going to a place like that, but was it his place to judge someone who did? And Terrence had sworn he was done with that lifestyle and that club. Could he believe him?
“Do I disgust you?”
Terrence looked so sad, and Jackson frowned. “Of course not. Come here.” Jackson held his arms open. “Can I hold you?”
“Oh, thank you for understanding,” Terrence said with obvious relief, and collapsed in Jackson’s embrace.
They held each other in silence, and Jackson inhaled Terrence’s scent. It was musky with a hint of vanilla. Sweet and delectable. He found himself stroking Terrence’s back, and considered how much courage it must have taken the young man to open up to him. He lowered his head and nuzzled Terrence’s neck, holding him tighter with a sense of urgency. He grabbed the tip of Terrence’s earlobe with his lips and suckled it into his mouth. Terrence arched into him and moaned. Jackson poked his tongue into Terrence’s ear, teasing it, whilst he used his hands to squeeze and caress Terrence’s body. The young man touched him in return, sliding his hands along Jackson’s loose pants to stroke his thighs. When Terrence bent his head back to give Jackson more access to his throat, he kept his tongue in motion, lapping at Terrence, hungry with his desire.
He stopped to cradle the back of Terrence’s head, and looked into his eyes. He latched onto Terrence’s mouth, kissing him deeply, delighting in how wonderful he tasted. Terrence enthusiastically gave back, drawing first one lip, then another of Jackson’s into his own mouth. The heat built between them, and Jackson was incredibly hard, wanting urgently to just let go. Terrence slid a probing hand up the inside of Jackson’s thigh, and Jackson knew Terrence was just about to find out how turned on he really was. Jackson abruptly pulled away.
Terrence looked stricken. “What’s wrong?”
Jackson slowed his breathing that had been building with his desire. “Nothing’s wrong. I just don’t know if I’m ready…”
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